Teachability and Sanctification

Earlier this week, I was having a conversation about knee-jerk reactions. At first, I was arguing that there are certain situations that warrant a knee-jerk reaction.  I shared my belief that there are some things that are just wrong and it’s okay to have knee-jerk reactions to those things. As we continued talking, I realized an error in my thinking.

It’s true – there are in fact some things that are inherently wrong. Murder, rape, pornography, and adultery to name a few. But here’s the thing – if I just grow up thinking that all of these things are wrong without ever looking at the Bible and understanding why they are wrong, then my knee-jerk reactions against these things are rooted in blind acceptance instead of the living and abiding Truth within my heart. In order to truly “hate what is evil [and] cling to what is good,“ we need to know His Word and understand the heart of His commandments (Romans 12:9). 

Blind obedience can be a very dangerous practice. It stands in the way of our sanctification by preventing us from thinking critically about the work God is doing in our lives. Without questioning and evaluating, we cannot be transformed because we won’t see our need to. By bearing the name of Christ, we are held to a standard of righteousness that implores us to persistently pursue knowledge of and communion with our Lord.

Each day, we are faced with decisions to either honor or dishonor Christ. Many of us try to get around the effort that comes along with truly seeking God, making statements such as “Don’t spend a lot of time thinking about God, just love Him!” When I really break down this mentality, I’m struck by how flawed it is, simply because you cannot truly love something that you do not understand. The claim that “Good lovers are students of the Beloved” seems to be particularly accurate; I cannot love well unless I am abiding in intimate fellowship with the true source and example of selfless love – Jesus Christ.

We may possess the desire to follow and honor Christ and present our undivided hearts and minds to him, but sin and righteousness are at war within us, and this is the great obstacle of our sanctification. Paul comments on this unfortunate reality in Romans 7, when he admits, “Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me” (Romans 7:21-23).

I serve a God who knows the depths of my heart. He knows my areas of weakness, and He challenges me to grow in patience, peace, and boldness, each day inviting me to experience His love in different ways. These challenges are apart of my sanctification, and through them, I’m reminded that “[I am] not [my] own; [I was] bought at a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20). I’m taught who I am and who I’m not and who Christ wants me to be. I don’t have all of the answers, but I at least know enough to keep asking questions. In my questioning, He meets with me.

If we resign ourselves to these passive philosophies of “just love God” or “just be a good person,” we miss His invitation to partake in intimate community with Him. We miss opportunities to grow in the fullness that He has intended and to live out the love that He has tasked us with revealing. 

Making the Most of Your College Years

Your college years can be a bit of a coin toss. During this unique and stretching season of life, you are given the invaluable opportunity to ask questions, discover your interests and make mistakes. When I left for college, I really had no idea where the Lord would take me in the upcoming years. I didn’t know what to expect, who I would meet or where I would do my laundry. As I think about the many people I know who either have gone or will soon be going back to school, I’m reminded of some personal realizations that I had after completing my undergraduate experience at Biola. For any of you who are getting ready for freshman year, these are a just a few words of advice. 

Find a church/Christian community

Being in community with brothers and sisters in Christ is crucial in sustaining and growing our faith. Going to a Christian college, my experience with this was a little different than most, but I want to encourage you to earnestly seek out Christian community during your college years. You’ll never find ‘the perfect church,’ but as you visit different churches and identify what you like and don’t like about them, you’ll come to a greater understanding of what you truly value in a church. The process of discovering those values will deepen your understanding of your own faith.

Keep in touch with your family

You might be totally stoked to be moving out of your parents house and finally living on your own, and you should be – it’s awesome! But your time away will definitely help you find a greater appreciation for the beautiful family that God has blessed you with. Whether it’s by encountering friends with broken family situations or just by Snapchatting with your siblings, you are going to become even more thankful for your family than you are now. So make a point to keep in touch!

Make friends who encourage you to grow

This is a big one. At the beginning of college, everybody is in the same boat; everybody wants to make new friends and find their place. But some times, in the frenzy of trying to create friendships in an unfamiliar place, you can end up making compromises in the qualities that you would otherwise seek in your friends. During your college years, you will gradually learn to identify who your true friends are. The right friends are the ones who truly care about your well-being and who will challenge you to grow as a person. When you find friends like this, hold on to them.

 Establish relationships with your professors

Along with building meaningful friendships with your peers, make a point to develop relationships with your professors, especially the ones in your major. Your professors will not only be specialized experts on your topics of study, but they’ll also probably have really interesting insights and life stories that they may not mention in an overcrowded lecture hall. Keeping close ties with your professors will serve you well both during college and after you graduate and are looking for work in your field. 

Study hard

I can’t make a college to-do list without including “Study hard!” You’re going to college to learn, so your studies definitely need to be your priority. Being teachable and mastering your chosen craft should be your focus in these coming years. The harder you study, the more capable you will be when you graduate. To make studying a little more enjoyable, find a study spot on campus where you can camp out when you are sick of being stuck in your dorm for hours on end.

Remember who you are in Christ

I find it appropriate to put this one immediately after “Study Hard.” It can be incredibly tempting to place all of your value in your grades or success, but remember that your true identity is in Christ alone: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:8-10). Remind yourself of Truth by being in the Word daily. You are Christ’s beloved, and when you are walking in Him, you are exactly where He wants you to be.

Find a subject that you are truly passionate about and stick with it

Frederick Buechner, a contemporary American theologian, writes, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.” This quote has stayed with me and it has been the driving force behind my career goals. Find a career that you are passionate about that will also allow you to help meet a need in this world.  

Have study break dance parties in your dorm. Regularly.

No description needed. Just do it.

Lectures, labs and research papers all combine to make up the skeleton of your college education. In the end however, if your diploma doesn’t weigh more than a notebook full of probable theorems or a computer full of Word documents, you’ve missed out. Use these years well. They’re precious, and so are you.

The Tale of Hairold the Fish

In a word, Hairold the fish was spoiled. In a bowl that was more than over-sized for his microscopic likings, he swam freely in a life of moderate luxury full of aquarium ornaments and multi-colored pebbles. He was given three square meals a day and his tank was cleaned every week on the week with no exceptions. Hairold lived well and I loved him as well as any pet owner could love their pet without it being weird.

In light of the fine circumstances surrounding Hairold’s existence, everybody who knew of his exceptional treatment and intentional owners expected him to lead a long and prosperous life of gill-flapping and head-bobbing. He had all the resources he needed to survive and thrive.

“Hey, where’s Hairold?”

Waking up to a fishless fish bowl is not an experience that I would wish upon any person. A mixture of confusion and disbelief blend together to make for a particularly disorienting moment.

Through the bathroom door, my roommate responded.

“What?” she asked.

“Where’s Hairold? Did you do something with him?”

“Lara, what are you talking about? He’s a fish. He’s in his fish tank.”

“No, he’s not in here! Are you serious? You didn’t put him somewhere weird or something?”

She opened the bathroom door and walked towards the empty fish tank.

“Tell me I’m blind. This is completely absurd. I really hope I’m just blind right now.”

“What the crazy-pants?! There is literally NO fish in this fish bowl right now. Lara, what in the world is going on? Did you do something to him?”

“Okay, obviously not. I’m the one who freaked out first and I’m not this good at playing pranks. If I was kidding, you would know by now.”

After about ten minutes of sitting in silent awe of the aquatic phenomenon that had taken place in our dorm, action needed to be taken. I finally spoke.

“Well, I think we have both been sufficiently freaked out. We have no fish. We have no idea how or why we have no fish. I mean, we can’t just sit here all day. I guess we should just... go to class?”

The idea of making “Lost Fish” signs and posting them around campus was on the table for a fleeting moment, but we decided, after a very surreal morning, to let the situation settle itself. As irrational as it may have been, we assumed that sooner or later, he would just show up.

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The next several hours were marked by great confusion. For somebody who has a particularly hard time accepting things that don’t make sense, the fact that my fish had, for all intents and purposes, disappeared was a nearly impossible reality to come to terms with. How could I focus on Professor Smith’s interpretation of Thomas Gray’s Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard when I had such a mystery on my mind?

This may come as a surprise, but the disappearance of my goldfish isn’t the only situation that I have been guilty of overthinking. It takes me twenty minutes to decide between the blue dress at Macy’s and the floral dress at Nordstrom, and that’s on a good day. Choosing my major in college took a solid year. I often find myself thinking in circles around situations that I don’t really have control over and stressing over unimportant details. That in mind, it’s no surprise that I was preoccupied by the remarkable disappearance of my fish. I needed to get to the bottom of this.

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Like any logical person would be, my classmate was very skeptical.

“I don’t believe you. That makes absolutely no sense.”

“Dude, I would love nothing more than for you to come to my dorm and prove me wrong right now. I’ve been freaking out about this all day.”

Walking back to the dorm, I considered the endless possibilities. They were all out of the realm of possibility and completely unrealistic, but then again, so was the idea of a fish disappearing.

When we got back to my dorm, we went straight to the fish bowl.

“Okay, how does the bowl work?”

“What do you mean ‘how does the bowl work?’? It’s a fish bowl...”

“Yeah, but is there a filter?”

“... yeah, but...”

She lifted the top of the bowl and opened up the filter.

Oh, Hairold. May you rest in pieces.  

A Hostel Experience

Four girls, three nights, two bodyguards and a London hostel without door locks.

If it sounds dangerous, it was. If it sounds frightening, it was. If it sounds like the blueprint of a rather eventful weekend abroad, it most certainly is.

College students do not have money, but they want to visit exciting places and be independent. As a college student, most of my travel decisions were made by which restaurants had the lowest prices or which hostels had the fewest number of drunk people loitering around them late at night. With these standards in mind, it is no surprise that myself and the three other girls whom I was traveling with ended up at a pretty questionable hostel on Jerrmyn Street.

After three glorious weeks of studying in the warm and homey city of Cambridge, England, we began our journey to London, where we would be staying for the weekend before returning to California. In theory, a weekend in London with close friends seems like a dream come true. In reality however, four college students at the tail end of an abroad journey will always be exhausted and broke.

As we made our way to our hostel, we saw many peculiar places and even more peculiar people. “We aren’t in Cambridge anymore” we told ourselves. We walked for several minutes down a single street before realizing that we were on the wrong path. Retracing our steps, we found the sign for our hostel, but not until we discovered that it was in fact connected to Abracadabra, a Russian restaurant in the basement of our hostel. After making this discovery, we knew that we were marking the beginning of an relatively high-risk weekend.

This hostel – which shall remain unnamed – is an all-girls hostel run by Russian men. Confusing, no? The only female workers we ever saw there were the receptionists and after check-in, we never saw them again. There were no lockers to put valuables in during the day and, as mentioned previously, none of the room doors had locks on them. There were two bodyguards who would come out at night and guard the doors that led to the street, but other than that, everything was fair game. The only way of “ensuring” that your more cherished belongings remained safe was stowing them behind a curtain near the reception desk. This hardly seemed promising.

After settling in as best we could, we decided to go out and spend the night on the town. We explored a park nearby and found an amazing pastry shop that reminded us that there are in fact good things in life, even if our hostel was not one of them. We delayed our return to the hostel as long as we could, but by about eleven o’clock, the gig was up. Knowing that our night of low-budget adventuring had come to an end, we slowly began our trudge back down Jerrmyn Street.

Arriving back at the hostel, we concluded that although it was too late to be wandering around the streets of London, we were not quite tired enough to call it a night. We remembered the receptionist speaking of a restaurant that all women in the hostel had free access to, so we foolishly decided to visit it. Before we knew it, the short middle-aged man at the front desk was taking us down a long staircase, leading to a single red door. This was the uh-oh moment. He opened the door and the three of us were speechless. Throughout the club, there were several curtained quadrants, each housing a red lounge couch adjacent to a personal dance floor. It was cold. It was dark. And worst of all, it was empty.

Being the only people in the room besides our kind escort, our minds were moving a mile a minute. A million scenarios began rushing through our minds, and after a few short seconds, we told the man who brought us down that we would be leaving. Although he encouraged us to stay longer, we insisted on exiting and were able to vacate the premises without any of our initial fears being realized. From this point forward, we were just counting down the hours before our landing in LAX. We were ready to go home.

My uneasiness regarding our living arrangements persisted throughout the entire weekend. It was not until I collapsed into the rock hard, box-shaped chairs in terminal four of the Heathrow airport that I felt completely safe. I had a nonstop ten-hour flight ahead of me, but the thought of spending ten hours on a plane was infinitely more appealing to me than that of spending another ten minutes checked in at this hostel. I hate flying.

Four girls, three nights, two bodyguards and a London hostel without door locks.

If it sounds dangerous, it was. If it sounds frightening, it was. If it sounds like a long series of close calls culminating into a cautionary tale that I will speak of for years to come, it most certainly is. 

Family Matters

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a story that involved a spider and ended well. It’s always “And then I noticed that there was a GIANT spider” or “I woke up with a bunch of spider bites,” or worst of all, “I still don’t really know what happened to the spider.” I’m sure God had His reasons for creating spiders, but those reasons are about as clear to me as these goggles were to a ‘90s kid in a physical science class.  

All that to say, two weeks ago, I found a spider on my bed, which was obviously horrifying. After a mild – and by mild, I mean severe – freak out moment, I frantically started removing the sheets from my bed while launching off into a well-rehearsed diatribe about how useless and disgusting bugs are.  Mid-rant, I regained clarity long enough to remember that there are two vacant rooms just across the hallway from mine. All at once my problem was solved; my actual bedroom has now become the now-vacant room across the hallway.

As much as I appreciate the fact that these empty rooms in my house accommodate my irrational fear of insects – for the record, I’m not actually convinced that it’s irrational – I do miss the days of having my brothers living right across the hallway from me. When we were all living under the same roof – which, insanely enough, hasn’t been the case for almost eight years – I didn’t really think much of it. The three of us got along well enough on most days, and I’ll speak for myself in saying that we became progressively more fond of each other as we grew older.

My middle brother and I had a rocky start. With a mere fourteen-month age gap and polar opposite temperaments at the onset, we were genetically programed to drive each other crazy. He once pushed my baby bouncer under the piano in the living room just to watch me repeatedly hit my head on its base. After we got past the head bashing, Barbie doll vandalizing, tattletaling years of our relationship, he started to grow on me. In high school, we bonded over a trip to Italy with our uncle, and the rest is history. These days, I guess I’d say he’s alright.

Many years later, with all of us living at least a 6 hour car ride away from each other, I am starting to understand what a luxury it was to have my entire family in one place for all those years.

I began realizing this about five years ago when I moved away for college. My oldest brother and I attended the same university for one year, giving us a chance to see that we could be friends and not just siblings. We took good care of each other that year – he took me to the grocery store and I took him to the gym.  After he graduated, I had three full years of school left, which gave me plenty of time to continue growing in my understanding of how precious my family is.

Within the past two years, the three of us have found ourselves living in different areas, and adjusting to living far from my siblings has been more challenging than I expected it to be. When my middle brother moved up north to start a new chapter with his now wife, I remember it feeling bitter-sweet; I was happy to see him so happy, but I was bummed that he would be so far away. By the end of that same year, my oldest brother and his wife were packing their bags for a big move across the country; they had been given a ministry opportunity in another state that they felt called to pursue. And just like that, a spider-dodging fortress was born. 

Surprised by the bitter-sweetness of this season, I’ve tried to make a special effort to keep in touch with my siblings. We don’t talk every day, or even every week, but I know that when I need them, they’ll be there and I hope they know it goes both ways. As somebody who really values quality time, having family in different cities has given me more excuses to travel and visit. I worried that being far away would weaken our family bond, but that simply has not been the case; for that, I am extremely grateful. 

We’ve heard it said often enough – “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.” I wouldn’t necessarily say that I “didn’t know what I had” with my family until I left for college or my brothers moved away, but I would certainly say that the distance has helped me appreciate what I have much more. It has helped me realize that having a supportive, loving, and healthy family is by no means a given and that maintaining closeness with family requires intentionality.

Take a moment today to think about the family that God has blessed you with and how you can show love to them. Whether you are annoyed that your parents won’t let you go to the mall this afternoon or hurt by the unkind words of a family member, think on how you can selflessly serve your family by meeting needs and creating community among its members. The deep love of our Heavenly Father implores us to value, love, and serve our families. Let’s be intentional in seeking out ways to do this.